This originally appeared on misteragyeman.blogspot.com on October 23, 2015.
How about that sun, eh?
It turns out I have sweat glands. It’s always nice to meet new people, I say. But I wish I could have made their acquaintance under different conditions. 2015 is likely to be the hottest year on record, apparently. Global warming — we read about it, saw the movie, and now it has come ‘to a theatre near you!’
Uncomfortably near. My favourite shirt now smells like the working gear of a lumberjack.
Apologies to lumberjacks; they work hard for their aroma. My funk is the mild, underachieving essence of a egghead. While brain-stink is by no means inferior to brawn-stench, it has less charm to it. Females are unable to resist the musky aura of the working man, but this they can take or leave well alone. And generally, they choose Option B.
Did you know you can work on your laptop while lying prone on the ground? I have a chin-cushion for this purpose. I invented it by taking one of those useless sofa cushions and sticking it under my chin. The chin-cushion comes in handy now because I am learning web design. Again. Third time’s the charm, they say.
It is nice that we value the opinion of a two-time failure, as the author of that aphorism evidently was. It shows how tolerant we are as a civilization.
This is a weird writing voice. I think it’s because I just read Gweenbrick.
Anyway. I am learning HTML and CSS and JS and PHP. I use all these abbreviations non-ironically now, at least 20 times a day. I also haunt forums, and often report spammers. I’m all business. This may actually be the first language I’ve learned the correct way. You know — if every language was as well-documented as programming languages are, there’d be no more war. Also I would be quite grateful for a manual on non-verbal communication.
Part of the wonder of learning code is, for the first time I know just how outdated and lazy I have been. I am finally learning fast enough to understand how slow I am actually progressing. That sentence is supported by science: the intelligence it takes to be good at something is roughly equal to the intelligence it takes to know that you suck at said something. Unto which knowledge I have finally attained. Which is why I now read my Jobberman updates.
You know what they say: some do; some get paid to.
It’s true because it rhymes.
I never thought of myself as the kind of person who would pine for a 9‑to‑5. Actually, I’m not; my Scrabble siestas are legendary. However, even I must admit that it would be nice to have a supervisor again. Middle-level executives are plagued by a fear that you are dumber than you let on, so they can’t afford to test your capacity. Stolen waters are sweet, yea — and stolen naps are nectar.
Will you hire me? I have skills.
I’m not sure why I finally managed to do a post — and one so full of painfully bloggish drivel — after possibly a full dozen panics. The Blogger post text-box is 33.33% larger than that of WordPress, did you know? When you are totally disinterested in writing (and also moderately bereft of ideas) you notice such things.
Well, goodbye. If there is another post it shall be a story. It shall involve a quirky English name, it shall. And shall revolve around an innocuous food item, as all my stories now do. Oh yes.